Kicking It In The Butt, How I Quit Smoking

Yes, I was a closet smoker for over 20 years! 

Crazy to think it huh?

I call it closet because I was ashamed of my habit especially when I had entered the health & fitness industry. 

I would smoke in the comfort of my own home & if I was out it would only be around people who I felt comfortable with.

I started smoking at the age of 14. To think, that is only 4 years away for my eldest daughter Te Atarangi & yes, I would be pretty disappointed if she did start. Once I started earning my own money, cigarettes were a top priority even if I was scraping by, there would always be a way to fund my habit. I had always dated smokers & it had just become the norm until I meet Royal, who has never touched a cigarette in his life or a single drug for that matter, but he did like a drink.  Not once did Royal ever nag me or tell me to give up, he knew that I would, but in my own time.  Royal didn’t support my habit but he never judged me on it either.

I stopped smoking in the public eye when I was 27 while I was carrying Te Atarangi Pearl, not the proudest moment of my life.

The weirdest time I craved a smoke was straight after I had trained.  Yes, I was super fit and I was a smoker.  People who had known me for a while & then found out I smoked were shocked because I hid it so well.  I def wouldn’t lie about it, if someone asked, of course, I would say yeah I smoke.

The first thing I would do in the morning was put on the jug, make my coffee & roll my cigarette.  I would have 3 before I left for work in the morning.  This was my routine & the habit I had created for myself.  I would work all day without a smoke & then come home after I had trained and relieve that craving.  I had this story I would tell myself all the time, that I would be one of those people that will smoke all my life and not die from a smoking-related disease.  I never wanted to give up smoking & I had never tried.

So what changed?? About 2 years before I had quit I sat outside our apartment thinking I’m so sick of hiding this, but it was my only go to, the only thing I kept from my previous life & I didn’t want to give up just yet.  Well, fast forward 2 years and I had taken myself to a plastic surgeon enquiring about a tummy tuck & breast augmentation to find out that they wouldn’t do the procedure if I smoked.  With a lotttttt of hesitation & thought,  throwing what if’s back & forward I went to the chemist and bought a supply of Champix.  It wasn’t that I wanted to give up, I just wanted this surgery more than anything in this world.  I worked my arse off every day and still had this loose skin around my stomach & of course with having bubby & training my boobies were not big and perky as I wanted them lol.

Anyways I had been taking Champix for 3 months with no relapse, I ordered the next 3 months but didn’t really need them, I was more hooked on the side effects of the drugs, which one being remembering your dreams so vividly it was crazy.  So did I get the surgery?? Hahaha no!! I actually got declined for the loan I applied for in Australia which worked out to be a blessing in disguise as we welcomed the twins 3 years later.  It would’ve been a total waste of money lol. 

Do I still want surgery?? Yes definitely, however, it will not be loaned, I hate debt & interest I also will pass on implants as well with the research that I have done for myself, I’m totally comfortable with my own boobies 😆.

I live with my selfishness every day to give up smoking for surgery & not for my first pregnancy.  I am so grateful that Te Atarangi is the healthiest child I know.  I do still feel a sense of guilt for poisoning her, but I all so believe people change, I have changed & have been smoke-free for 3 years. 

Find your greater self, your purpose, your belief & you can achieve 💖

PS Champix worked for me, however, it is not for everyone. There are some pretty crazy side effects that I was uninformed of at the time.  If you are wanting to quit smoking & thinking about giving Champix a go, please consult with your doctor & make sure he goes through ALL the pros & cons with you xx